Top Secret

Uruguayan fans tomando mate'
Uruguayan fans tomando mate’

I have been preparing for the game against Ecuador and reading quite a few posts, especially the comments being made by the Ecuadorians. What seems to be the constant is the continuous comments stating that both Uruguay and Argentina get preferential treatment. I can understand the Ecuadorians believing this as their history is non existent.  Even when Ecuador do qualify for the World Cup they don’t do too much, they don’t do much at the Copa America, they don’t do much at La Copa Libertadores or the Copa Sudamerica.

If all their concerns were justifiable, then Uruguay would not have the results they have achieved at a world stage. What is very clear is that the altitude assists Ecuador but the question is what assists Uruguay?

Is it the fans?

Is it the stadium?

Is it the Garra Charrua?

Just what is Uruguay’s secret?

In this World Exclusive I divulge highly sensitive information which has been classified Top Secret by the AUF.

Yerba Mate’ as described in Wikipedia: Mate’ is served with a metal straw from a shared hollow calabash gourd and the straw is called a bombilla. Yerba mate leaves are dried, chopped, and ground into a powdery mixture called yerba.

Suarez tomando mate'
Suarez tomando mate’

 The Uruguayan’s and Argentinian’s were the best football teams in the 1920’s which was not too long after the British showed them the game. Sure the Brazilian’s, Paraguayan’s and Chilean’s also drink mate’ but the secret is not only in the drinking but the ritual that is performed. Below is an example of the ritual that the Uruguayan team perform on the pitch before the game:

Tota y Ruso tomando mate'
Tota y Ruso tomando mate’

Just why do we have the best strikers in the world?

Cavani tomando mate'
Cavani tomando mate’
Luis Suarez Drinking Mate'
Luis Suarez Drinking Mate’
Luis Suarez Best Player at the Copa America 2011
Luis Suarez Best Player at the Copa America 2011
Diego Forlan Best Player at the 2010 World Cup
Diego Forlan Best Player at the 2010 World Cup
Coates Best Young Player at the Copa America 2011
Coates Best Young Player at the Copa America 2011

Lets look at some players that are recognised as the best ever:

Maradona tomando mate'
Maradona tomando mate’
Messi tomando mate'
Messi tomando mate’

Now lets look at some more Mate’ drinkers: 

Pepe Mujica tomando mate'
Pepe Mujica tomando mate’
Pope tomando mate'
Pope tomando mate’
Che tomando mate'
Che tomando mate’
Einstein tomando mate'
Einstein tomando mate’

I know a lot of Uruguayan’s wont be happy with this information being released so close to the game. I just wanted to assure all the people in Ecuador that the result is not dependent on cheating, fixed referees, conspiracies or bribery of any kind. Uruguay have players that Ecuador could only dream of, players playing in the best leagues in the world. Uruguay can not only play at altitude but at sea level, our players have won awards from being the best player at a World Cup, best player at a Copa America, best young player at a Copa America to leading goal scorer in Italy and Spain. This is what Ecuador is playing against, even our coach has coached at the highest level. When was the last time a coach from Ecuador was in charge of AC Milan?

I’m not going to go into the traditional ritual that is performed by La Celeste, only to say that it’s going to be a hard game with chances for both sides. The difference could well be the altitude but I won’t complain too much about that. What I will say is that our Captain is ready to continue the tradition and is in charge of the ritual. He is the Captain and will lead the way with La Garra Charrua and sights on automatic qualification to Brazil.

Lugano tomando mate'
Lugano tomando mate’

The crazy one won’t be there but the spirit from all previous campaigns will.

Loco tomando mate'
Loco tomando mate’

It is with the people

Portable mate'
Portable mate’

and the spirit in the Shirt:

La Celeste
La Celeste


When a Dream becomes a Legend, Montevideo (God Bless You) is the story of La Celeste. Well it would have been if I was the director. The stars of the movie Montevideo; El Maestro, Diego Lugano, Edison Cavani, Diego Forlan and Luis Suarez. The story will continue next month when I make the epic journey to Montevideo to watch La Celeste play in two World Cup qualifiers on Uruguayan soil. It’s the only time in the qualifiers that La Celeste play two games in Montevideo within one week. Uruguay will play Venezuela on the 2nd of June and against Peru on the 10th of June at El Estadio Centenario.

Then tonight the journey continues with Luis Suarez playing in the FA Cup Final for Liverpool against Chelsea. There is never a dull moment with Suarez and I’m hoping for a huge game from him and let’s hope he can also make it as controversial as possible so that the English press can sell as many newspapers and magazines as possible. Come on Luis maybe instead of preventing a goal with your hands try a Maradona, in honour of Las Malvinas!!!

Edison Cavani also has an important game against Bologna in an attempt for Napoli to make the magical 3rd spot in the Seria A. Cavani also has the Copa Italia Final to play later this month against Juventus. Diego Forlan will probably not be part of the Milan derby when Inter Milan meet AC Milan in a game that could decide the Seria A. Depending on the Juventus result, a win is the only option for AC Milan. Diego Lugano doesn’t seem to be in Carlo Ancelotti’s plans for Paris Saint-Germain and Oscar Tabarez will be studying all things London Olympics with some World Cup qualifiers on the side.


Luis Suarez is the current leading goal scorer in the CONMEBOL World Cup Qualifiers and was the best player at the Copa America 2011. Keeping the unique record of best player titles in La Cop America.

Luis Suarez (Uruguay) – 2011

Robinho (Brazil) – 2007

Adriano (Brazil) – 2004

Amado Guevara (Honduras) – 2001

Rivaldo (Brazil) – 1999

Ronaldo (Brazil) – 1997

Enzo Francéscoli (Uruguay) – 1995

Sergio Goycochea (Argentina) – 1993

Leonardo Rodríguez (Argentina) – 1991

Ruben Sosa (Uruguay) – 1989

Carlos Valderrama (Colômbia) – 1987

It will be great to see Luis lift the FA Cup.

Vamos Lucho Vamos Carajo!!!

Uruguayan World Records

Caricatura de Forlan

Some very interesting Guinness Book of Records for Uruguay. Federico Delgado Heredia took 5 hours and 50 minutes to complete the caricature of Diego Forlan that measures 91.35 m (299 ft 8.45 in) in length and 60.90 m (199 ft 9.63 in) in width, measuring 631.20 m² (6,794 ft² 21.6 in²) and used 60 litres (13.2 UK gal; 15.85 US gal) of black paint!!! Bien Ahi Federico.

The largest collection of pencils belongs to Emilio Arenas (Uruguay)  who started his collection in 1956 and consists of 14,552 black pencils from 60 countries as of 3 August 2011.

The largest matchbox collection belongs to Emilio Arenas Florin of Colonia (Uruguay) with 9,130 unique matchboxes; which he has been collecting since 1980.

The largest alfajor weighed 464 kg (1,022 lb 15.11 oz) and was made by Alfajores de Las Sierras de Minas (Uruguay), in the main square of the city of Minas, Lavalleja, Uruguay, on 12 December 2010.


Uruguay was the largest per capita consumer of beef and veal in the world during 2010, at approximately 62.1 kilograms (136 lb, 14.51 oz) per person.

The highest margin of victory in a Copa Sudamericana match is nine by Defensor Sporting (Uruguay) in a 9-0 win over Sport Huancayo (Peru) in a second-stage first leg match in Montevideo, Uruguay, on 16 September 2010.

The record for the fastest goal by a substitute is 18 seconds by Uruguay’s Richard Morales against Senegal at the 2002 World Cup in Suwon, South Korea on 11 June 2002.

The most wins of the Copa America for the South American football championships is 15 by Uruguay between 1916 and 2011. “La Celeste” defeated Paraguay, 3-0, in the final at Estadio Monumental in Buenos Aires, Argentina, on 24 July 2011. Uruguay is the only nation besides Argentina to win the Copa America when hosted by Argentina, having done so three times (1916, 1987, 2011).

The oldest referee to officiate a FIFA World Cup finals match is George Reader (UK) who was 53 years 236 days old when he refereed the final game of the 1950 World Cup at the Maracana stadium, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on 16 July 1950. The match was won by Uruguay who beat the hosts Brazil 2-­1 in front of crowd estimated at 200,000 (although officially recognized by Fifa as 174,000) to go top of the final group and win the World Cup for the 2nd time.

The fastest time to be sent off in a World Cup finals match is 1 minute by José Batista, playing for Uruguay against Scotland on 13 June 1986 at the Estadio Neza ’86, Nezahualcoyotl, Mexico.

The first ever FIFA World Cup goal was scored by Lucien Laurent (France), playing for France against Mexico at the 1930 World Cup, in Estadio Pocitos, Montevideo, Uruguay, on 13 July 1930.

The first ever clean sheet recorded in a football World Cup match was recorded by the USA in it’s 3-0 victory over Belgium at Estadio Parque Central, Montevideo, Uruguay on 13 July, 1930.

What is really interesting is the last World Record at the Parque Central which is Nacional’s home ground. Now you hear the bolsos (Nacional Fans) always going on about having a stadium and Peñarol not having a stadium. I would like to translate to the illiterate bolsos, that the name of their so called stadium is “Parque” which translates to “Park”. So in reality their stadium is not a stadium but just a park. If it were a stadium they would be able to host the Classico but they can’t, so the game is played at Peñarol’s stadium of el Centenario.

Records from The Guinness Book of Records at the following link: Guiness Book of Records

Now that's a Stadium

United Kingdom in Denial

Sir Alex Ferguson

The England National football team is the joint oldest in the world; it was formed at the same time as the Scotland National football team. A representative match between England and Scotland was played on the 5th of March 1870, having been organised by the Football Association. Now I’m no expert when it comes to the United Kingdom and will focus mainly on some statistics which are quite interesting to me. 

I’ll start with Sir Alex Ferguson who was 12 years old in 1954 when Uruguay beat Scotland 7-0 at the World Cup which was the worst defeat by Scotland ever. Then there was the game on the 13th of June 1986 in Nezahualcoyotl, a suburb of Mexico City for the World Cup. Scotland needed to win to progress to the next round of 16 and Uruguay just needed a draw. Sir Alex was coach of Scotland and Uruguay had a reputation for being a physical team. The end result was 0-0 with Uruguay playing with 10 men after the quickest red card to date at any World Cup game, as it took the French referee Joel Quiniou 56 seconds to show the red card to Jose Batista (Uruguay).

The hot head Ferguson chewing gum, his face flushed with anger (or could have been the alcohol?), told reporters at the press conference after the game that the Uruguayan players were a disgrace to football (a word also used to attack Suarez 25 years later), and went even further with the phrase: “What else could be expected of players from that cursed nation !” However, Ferguson was not sanctioned by FIFA for that outburst. Is it possible for the Scot with a title awarded by the British Crown capable of such grievances against a whole nation?

For those that are too young to remember below is the footage of the 0-0 draw and another interview with some of the Scotland players. Gordon Strachan clearly states that Scotland were just not good enough!!!!

Sure you could say that Scotland have a small population of 5.2 million and that could easily explain why they have never got passed the first round in the World Cup and why they have never got passed the last 8 in the European Championship. Now look at Uruguay with a population of 3.2 million who have the following record; 2 Gold Medals at the Olympics; 2 World Cups; record 15 Copa Americas!

The United Kingdom are in crisis as England with only “One World Cup” to their name have just lost Fabio Capello as coach who had a 66.7% win rate, which no other coach in the history of the England Football National team can beat. (Not even Sir Alf Ramsey can beat Capello’s record).

Another Italian is in charge of the Republic of Ireland, who if not for a Henry handball nearly got them to the 2010 World Cup. Giovanni Trapattoni has a 42% win rate which is nothing to sneeze at. Not bad for a team that suffered it’s worst loss in it’s history in 1982 going down to Brazil 7-0.

I wont even discuss Wales who have only qualified for one world cup in 1958 and made it to the quarter finals and have never qualified for the European Championships. I also apologise in advance if I have left any countries out that should be included in the United Kingdom but I’m sure their record is dreadful anyway!!!

England now have a caretaker coach of Stuart Pearce who has started with a 0% win rate! The English FA is still to appoint a National Coach with the European Championships just around the corner. England will be facing France, Sweden and Ukraine; while the Republic of Ireland will be facing Spain, Italy and Croatia.

Scotland did not qualify for the European Championships and its no wonder why Sir Alex Ferguson in his rage would want to attack Luis Suarez, a football player from Uruguay. Just like the way he treated Diego Forlan, Sir Alex continues with his depression with his National Team of Scotland. Really it’s enough for anyone to start drinking!!!

El Maestro

11 Days: ¿ Just Who Can Score ?



Looking at the goal scorers for the CONMEBOL World Cup Qualifiers, some interesting facts for the 5 South American World Cup Representatives. 

  • Chile took out the honour with 10 goals from Humberto Suazo.
  • 9 Goals from Brazil’s Luis Fabiano
  • 8 Goals from Bolivia’s Joaquin Botero (Bless the Altitude)
  • 7 Goals from Uruguay’s Diego Forlan
  • 6 Goals from a few players but I will only mention the player’s going to South Africa from here on: Argentina’s Lionel Messi
  • 5 Goals from Uruguay’s Sebastian Abreu and Luis Suarez; Brazil’s Kaka and Nilmar; Paraguay’s Nelson Valdez.
  • 4 Goals from Uruguay’s Diego Lugano and Carlos Bueno; Brazil’s Robinho; Chile’s Matias Fernandez

Now lets look at the assists: 

  • 5 assists from Uruguay’s Luis Suarez; Brazil’s Maicon; Chile’s Matias Fernandez
  • 4 assists from Uruguay’s Diego Forlan and Cristian Rodriguez; Argentina’s Lionel Messi; Chile’s Jorge Valdivia

Now we look at Yellow (Y) and Red Cards (R) 

  • Argentina’s Carlos Tevez 4 (Y) and 3 (R)
  • Argentina’s Javier Mascherano 7 (Y)
  • Uruguay’s Diego Perez 6 (Y) and Martin Caceres 4 (Y) and 1 (R)
  • Argentina’s Martin Demichelis 6 (Y)
  • Chile’s Alexis Sanches 4 (Y) and 1 (R)
  • Brazil’s Luis Fabiano 4 (Y) and 1 (R)
  • Paraguay’s Dario Veron 4 (Y) and 1 (R); Julio Caceres 6 (Y)
  • Uruguay’s Diego Lugano 5 (Y); Diego Godin 3 (Y) and 1 (R); Cristian Rodriguez 5 (Y) and 1 (R)

 When analysing this data it becomes obvious who the players are to look out for. Starting with Discipline, it becomes confusing as there are strikers getting yellow cards for goal celebrations. Most of the time when a striker scores they tend to take their shirt off to celebrate which incurs a yellow card for unsportsmanlike behaviour. It’s very hard to determine anything from this statistic without further examination.

I have left Cristian Rodriguez in the statistics even though he is not travelling to South Africa to highlight the fact that compared to some other players discipline record, his suspension was rather harsh to say the least. The rest is clear as far as Forlan, Suarez, Suazo, Messi and Fabiano are the danger men for South America.

Will a South American win the Golden Boot and win the Golden Cup?  


FIFA Golden Boot
FIFA Golden Boot


FIFA World Cup
FIFA World Cup


South America
South America




18 Days: South America European Champions


Milito (Argentino)

The Best of Europe’s Club Side Competitions finished today with Inter Milan (Internazionale) being crowned Champions of Europe. In the Europa League Atletico Madrid were crowned Champions of Europe.  


What’s the similarity: A Uruguayan and Argentinian scored two goals in each final. 

Diego Forlan scored twice to bring the Europa Cup back to Atletico and Diego Milito scored twice to bring the Champions League Cup back to Inter Milan. 

South America are Champions of Europe!!!!! 



Forlan Campeon
Forlan Campeon

Next is South Africa and with the way the South Americans are scoring I believe the First World Cup on African soil will return to its only true home of South America. 




30 Days: The Greatest Players


Vamos La Celeste

El Maestro has selected 26 players which will be reduced to 23 players on the 1st of June 2010. With another magical number of 30, it seems appropriate to name the squad. Back in ’30 Uruguay won the first ever World Cup held on Uruguayan soil beating our classico opponent of Argentina. With that in mind lets’ look at the 26 players selected and analyse which 3 players will miss out on the South Africa World Cup. 


Fernando Muslera (Lazio Italia)

 Our Number one Keeper who brings stability to the team as is our foundation. It took a while to fix our keeper issues but now I’m calm and relaxed knowing the Lazio man is our keeper and even more importantly fantastic at penalties 🙂

Juan Castillo (Deportivo Cali Colombia)

Our number two keeper and let’s hope it stays like that throughout the tournament.

Martin Silva (Defensor Uruguay)

Our number three keeper and let’s hope it stays like that throughout the tournament.

Diego Lugano (Fenerbahce Turquía)

When Montero retired I was worried about our defence, however Lugano is the foundation at the back and Captain. Diego is crucial to our team and I’m looking forward to a great tournament from El Capitan.

Diego Godin (Villarreal España)

The other Diego who has been solid at the back and rightfully won his place on the team. Lugano and Godin are a fantastic pairing and will be hard to beat.

Andrés Scotti (Colo Colo Chile)

I remember being at North Sydney Oval and Scotti walked past me and it was like an eclipse as the sun disappeared. He is a huge player with a big heart and I’m a huge fan.

Jorge Fucile (Porto Portugal)

I also remember being at North Sydney oval when some people where asking for Fucile. I was there with Andres and we looked at each other and said: “Who the hell is Fucile?” Now we know exactly who he is and a great attacking wing back who will cause issues for other defences out there.

Martín Cáceres (Juventus Italia)

Wow what a hard choice to make but what a great problem to have. Fucile or Caceres at the back? I would start with Caceres as his performance during the Qualifiers were outstanding

Mauricio Victorino (Universidad de Chile)

I haven’t seen him play lately and being a bolso makes me make the following decision. Sorry Mauricio but I would not include you in the 23.

Maximiliano Pereira (Benfica Portugal)

Maxi was great in the qualifiers and an asset to the team. Endurance and powerful with a few challenges that are required at the highest level (as per picture).. He He

Walter Gargano (Napoli Italia)

They say that Gargano continues running even after the game as he doesn’t know how to stop once he has started. He plays with his heart and when he gets his long passes worked out they can change the game in an instant. Forza Napoli Forza!!!

Egidio Arévalo Ríos (Peñarol Uruguay)

A suprise call up but rightfully deserved as nacional will find out in El Classico on Thursday. Plays similar to Gargano and would be a perfect replacement in the midfield and to throw in the magical spice of “Garra Charrua”.

Sebastián Eguren (AIK Estocolomo Suecia)

I still remember that goal against Colombia in Colombia and just for that goal should be in the 23 players. Great midfield player who on his day can change the game.

Diego Perez (Monaco Francia)

My favourite Uruguayan player, he is a powerhouse endurance passing fouling tactically technicaly gifted and skillful player that Uruguay has. Must play every single game in Africa.

Alvaro Pereira (FC Porto Portugal)

With Alvaro we have the midfield under control. He had some great games near the end of the qualifiers and deserves his place on the team as an integral member.

Alvaro Fernández (Universidad de Chile)

A lot of people are a fan of Alvaro but again as we can only take 23 players I need something when considering a player. Once again being a bolso I would have to leave Fernandez out of the 23 squad. Sorry loco but not only did you play for nacional but now your playing in Chile 🙂

Jorge Rodríguez (River Plate Uruguay)

A great asset to the team as he is coached by the ex Uruguayan coach Carrasco. Just in case we need a half time chat to the team Carrasco style, where he can explain that the ball is made out of cow leather and the boots are made out of bull leather and we all know what the bull does to the cow right????

Alvaro González (Nacional Uruguay)

Well Ok we’ll leave this nacional player in as someone needs to carry the oranges.

Ignacio González (Valencia España)

I never understand his selection and El Maestro must have an answer. He had a sensational performance against Brazil in the Qualifiers back in Brazil a couple of years ago now. He is a great player but does the team need two number 10’s?

Nicolás Lodeiro (Ajax Holanda)

The other number 10 and the only difference is the age. Not much experience but I would take him as nacho could get injured while ordering lunch and Nico would be a great replacement.

Luis Suárez (Ajax Holanda)

Goal scoring machine who also sets up other players. First Class Ticket please!!!!!

Diego Forlán (Atlético Madrid España)

Another Goal Scoring machine and without the Captaincy responsibilities and without worrying playing the number 10 role, Diego (Uruguayo) can concentrate on what he does best and that’s score goals, plenty of goals.

Edinson Cavani (Palermo Italia)

He misses goals that have no explanation but he also scores goals that have no explanation. Even his goal celebrations have no explanations.

Jorge Martínez (Catania Italia)

I’m a fan of Malaka Martinez and would be included in my 23 squad. When he got woken up in the early hours of the morning by his agent who said “Pack your bags your off to Catania”. His first question was: “Where the hell is Catania?” He has saved Catania from relegation and has scored some crucial goals for the team. He now knows where Catania is 🙂

Sebastián Fernández (Banfield Argentina)

I haven’t really seen him play but from what I’ve seen, he is a great player with a goalscoring instinct however Sebastian would not make my 23 players.