South America conquer Africa


Uruguay vs Mexico
Uruguay vs Mexico

 The first thing I would like to say is that the only reason I’m in South Africa is to see Uruguay lift the World Cup and become World Champions for the 5th time. It’s easy to get lost in this place due to the lack of normality. This post might sound a bit angry and negative, but at the moment I could take on 5 Korean Kung Fu impersonators all at once. I feel like I’m in Australia sometimes, with regards to the coverage and commentary from the South Africans. 

This country is a Rugby Union country who tolerates soccer. The first time I saw something that met my expectations of what I expected in Africa was when we went to see Australia vs Ghana. The Africans from Ghana had rhythm and were colourful, full of dance with a couple of witch doctors on hand. 

The game against Mexico would be one of the most frustrating games I have ever attended. The Mexicans were calling the Uruguayans “putos” (poofters). Entering the stadium most of them were pissed (drunk) on tequila and calling us putos. I started losing my cool but I thought I would give them the benefit of the doubt and progress without incident as they were drunk. 

Once in the stadium I started to realise that the North American border with Mexico has been penetrated as the stadium was full of Mexicans with a sea of green. I contacted Interpol and suggested they wait outside the stadium and arrest the 99% who were not carrying a green card. 

Then the Mexicans started calling the Uruguayans “putos” every time Muslera (Uruguayan Goalkeeper) did a goal kick. I started losing my cool some more as these little uneducated toilet cleaning, grass cutting, dish cleaners were getting under my skin. I decided to have my own chant every time they called us putos, and it went something like this: “Mexicanos andate a la putisima madre que te recontra pario, hijos de putas la concha de tu madre, nunca ganaron nada pajeros de mierda”. There is no need to translate this section as English will only take the passion away from the words. 

There was an incident when a Mexican who wasn’t thinking clearly joined in on the chant of “putos” but he was situated within the proximity of the crazy Uruguayan fans. One of the fans went over and said to the Mexican, come on say it to my face. The Mexican said puto to the Uruguayans face and ended up on the floor with a possible face reconstruction. The brawl was so serious that they announced that the Mexicans had to leave the stadium first and we needed to wait 15 minutes after the game finished before the Uruguayans could leave the stadium. 

I quickly checked my iPhone “Mexicans Running from a Stadium app” to calculate where the Mexicans would be in 15 minutes time running at their pace and being drunk so I could catch up with them and continue our discussions on sexual preferences and all things futbol. On leaving the stadium instead what I found were the Mexicans wanting to have photos taken with us (Uruguayans). I politely replied to each and every one of them that they could stick their camera up their arse. When they asked me why I would say something like that I had to explain to them that if they call me a poofter first and then want a photo taken, the only photo they will get is a xray of their face with every bone I can manage to break with their camera. 

I ended up catching a bus full of Mexicans and all they could talk about was how they are going to beat Argentina. Just like they said they would beat Uruguay and just like they say they will beat anyone, but instead Mexico achieve not winning anything. I managed to inform some Argentinians from the ultras of what the Mexicans do when the opposition takes a goal kick so that they can plan a response. I hope there is enough security for that game as there are more Argentinians here then Uruguayans and from what I have heard on the street, the advise is to keep clear of the ultras from Argentina as they will even steal your family name. 

With regards to Uruguay it’s been a sensational experience from seeing them play, to seeing them score and seeing them win. We have had the luck of seeing the Uruguayan team up close as we went to their hotel before the Mexico game only to find the players very relaxed and walking around. Drinking mate’ as the below picture with El Cacha.   


Cacha Tomando Mate'
Cacha Tomando Mate'

  One of my goals for this trip was to try and meet Ghiggia the scorer of the second Maracanazo goal in the 1950 final which Uruguay beat Brazil 2-1. I met Ghiggia who signed my Uruguayan cap and complained about the pen I was using, he was very funny and I think he’s even shorter than me. I thanked him and let him know that it was an honour meeting him. I have a strong feeling about Africa and this could be a oman of things to come. 

The squad were staying in the National Park where Andres and his dad did a safari. I noticed a sign that was on the fence with regards to the animals. I looked for animals and didn’t see many. When I asked the African workers where the animals were like Lions and Elephants they advised me that since the Uruguayan squad arrived they all ran away with fear in their hearts. 


   Now we are staying around the block from the Uruguayan Hotel. We organised our Hotel in between seeing Uruguay arrive and the Uruguayan fans having a futbol game at the park across from the Uruguayan squad. You could see the players at their room windows placing flags and recording and watching the game. I found the game played between the Uruguayan fans much more entertaining than some of the games in this World Cup. We have met journalists, nacionals president (can’t think of his name?), TV presenters, players families.  

It’s nearly 1am and time to go to sleep and dream of a Uruguayan Victory over Korea Republic. I finally have an internet connection and should be able to post over the next few days, however this is Africa and anything can and will happen. 

Vamos Uruguay Carajo Vamos!!!!   


Naci Celeste
Naci Celeste





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4 thoughts on “South America conquer Africa”

  1. Sounds like a life changing experience you are having there Gus. Wish I was there. I think we will get the Koreans 1 – 0.

    Have fun and enjoy.

    Vamos Uruguay Vamos.

    1. Wish you were here too Jorge we can use all the Uruguayans we can get as we are unnumbered here. Saludos Loco y Vamos Uruguay Carajo!!!!

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